THE ORIGIN OF THE GAMBON

Timeless, Ageless, Like a wine permanently at the peak of its vintage much speculation has arisen concerning the origin of the Gambon. While some consider even a discussion of his earlier years (if they can be called that for the Gambon has no concept of time and exists outside of its laws) crass in the extreme, in our capacity as Gambonists we feel it imperative to at least delve into the great tomes of Gambon and seek to eek out some truth (if it can be called that for there these are subjective terms and Gambon is the only being able to determine truth from falsehood), some explanation as to why we exist and our role as followers of the Great Gambon. Let us proceed with the Gambon:

Our Gambon, which art in Gambon,
hallowed be thy Gambon;
thy Gambon come;
thy Gambon be done,
in earth as it is in Gambon.
Give us this day our daily Gambon.
And forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation;
but deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the Gambon,
the Gambon, and the Gambon,
For Gambon and Gambon.
AGambon.]

On the first day there was Gambon and he created the birds and the bees and the flowers and the trees, for Gambon was a benevolent creature, and though he was one of infinite power he was well aware of that. Thus in spite of his vocal chords having the power to destroy whom, or whatever he so chose he used them to soothe the lesser creatures with his rich, melifluous and booming voice.

Once, Twice, Thrice had he sought to find a world worthy of him and his talents. He had travelled endlesslessly in search of a place in which is almost unfathomable acting talent could be appreciated, then an idea, smaller than the Gambon's chances of never winning great critical appreciation, came floating into his super computer-like brain.

"Why not create a world in which your talents can be appreciated"

With this Gambon closed his eyes for the briefest of moments, and when he opened them, with a pause so perfectly timed even the most wizened and cynical critic would weep with joy the earth and everything on it was created.

There endeth the Gambon

I will not linger long on the meaning of this lesson for it is so clear as to be Gambon, but thou cannot deny the significance of this; the earth and everything in it owes its existence to the Gambon and our place is simply to spend every waking hour reciting Gambon and deciphering the true meaning of the Gambon's messages.